Laundry Lessons Learned –Don’t Do This

True story. Too embarrassing to share, too funny not to share. I needed to run to the grocery store for one item to complete a recipe for lunch. I was still in my pajamas (don't judge!) and didn't want to delay the whole recipe to shower and dress. So I grungily grabbed last night's capri jeans off the top of the hamper and quickly pulled them on (you've done that before, right? I'm not the only one that pulls on dirty jeans for a quick trip, am I? I mean, it's not like they were "dirty". I wore them for a couple of hours. I didn't even sweat. I sat on a couch.) I topped off my outfit with a t-shirt over my PJ tank top, threw a cap over my hair (I brushed it first) and off I went to the store, secretly praying that I wouldn't run into anyone I knew (and throwing in prayers for world peace intermittently so I didn't seem totally vain and trivial.) I actually made it through the store in record time, and I made it out with buying only the item I needed (and a Diet Coke--because if you're dressed and out of the house at the store, you might as well caffeine-up.) I normally always run into former students/parents or church friends at the store. But not today! My bare-faced, cap-wearing, dirty-jean, sloppy-'cause-I-didn't-get-dressed-yet-today trip out of the house was successful and uneventful. Or so I thought. I returned home and was cheerfully finishing my recipe, still wearing my grungy outfit since I had already lost enough time and my family was starving. My knight came into the kitchen and said "What is that?" in a voice that is usually reserved for people observing large spiders or zombie invasions. I followed his pointed finger and gaze of horror down to the back of my left leg. And there, peeking ever so obviously from the bottom of my "dirty" capri jeans, was the black lace of the panties I wore under these jeans LAST NIGHT. Evidently, they were still inside the jeans that I hastily pulled on for a quick trip out in public. I JUST WENT TO THE GROCERY STORE WITH MY PANTIES HANGING OUT THE BOTTOM OF MY JEANS. Seriously?!! How did I not feel them when I pulled the jeans on? Am I that oblivious? And why didn't I feel a lump on the back of my leg as I sprinted through the store? Why didn't I remove my clothing separately last night as I threw it into the hamper? Why didn't I think to check in the mirror for any dangling panties before I left the house? Why didn't I just put on clean clothes? Why did I attempt to cook instead of just ordering pizza? And why am I sharing this with the world? Because it's too freakin' funny to keep it a secret. We keep cracking up laughing every time we think about it, although Dr. Smooth says he will never go to the grocery store with me again. So I'm not sure what the moral of the story is, but here's a little take-away for ya: 1. Buy all the ingredients for the recipe on the first trip to the store. 2. Separate all articles of clothing prior to lazily throwing them across the hamper. (and bunch them up so they are too wrinkled for you to be tempted to put them back on.) 3. Wear clean clothes when you go to a store. 4. If you neglect to do all of the above, check the mirror for dangling panties before you leave the house. Now, make me feel better and comment with an embarrassing story that makes you laugh at yourself. Preferably more embarrassing than mine.

16 Replies to “Laundry Lessons Learned –Don’t Do This”

  1. Try having your milk come in while you are in the middle of Wal-Mart! Imagine that one and all that might go with it. Thank God “The People of Wal-Mart” videos weren’t even a thought 18 years ago.

  2. Omgosh………. hahahahahahaaha!!!!!! That’s awful!!!! Now I have to think of a good one…… huh… I got nothing. How boring am I????

  3. Wow Goddess Howe this really tops them all. I can so picture you doing this. Next time we go shopping together i am checking you to make sure you have no panties hanging out. I would have been on the floor laughing if i was there with you. This was a good one for you. Next time just order out. I love you and miss u.

    1. You and my knight would have been rolling on the floor together crying. You probably would have hurt each other. Good thing you weren’t here! At least they were pretty lace!

    1. I know, right? I could have ordered a pizza or made a sandwicha and still be in my pajamas without the humiliation! ;o)

  4. I’m not sure if I’m allowed to comment on this post as most of my embarrasing moments happened along side of you. And seeing as HOWE you’re proving to be embarrasing enough without the likes of me around (grin), I should just leave well enough alone. So, I’ll just say, “No, I didn’t order a pizza”, and leave it at that. (tee hee brutas)

    1. Oh! I forgot about that! Not forgot, but hadn’t thought of it in a while and now I am smiling really big at the memory. That was soooo funny. We used to laugh so much together! Miss you! Love you forever!

    1. I don’t think there was anything sexy happening….black lace or not, hanging out from the bottom of your jeans is just so NOT sexy. ;o)

  5. This made me laugh out loud!!!! I can totally see this happening to you, me, just about anyone!!!! I have really enjoyed reading your posts today and will continue because they make me smile and think about life!!!!! Keep oit up!

    1. Thanks! I am so glad you enjoyed it. Feel free to share it with everybody you know!! ;o) Now let’s just hope I don’t end up on some website of Publix shoppers gone wrong. I can just see the surveillance tape now.

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