Golden Globes 2013 Recap

Posted by on January 14, 2013

Last night was the 2013 Golden Globes, and I was faithfully parked in front of the TV with my phone, remote, and iPad in hand for the full immersion experience.  I am not ashamed to admit that I love awards shows–the fashion, the red carpet interviews, the opening monologue roasts, the acceptance speeches, the audience reactions, the after-party interviews.  I love them all.Oscar Awards Golden Globe Awards

Golden Globes is a biggie in awards shows.  It is said to be THE indicator for what will win at the Super Bowl of all Awards Shows—-Oscar!  (Fist-bumps and a shout-out to Irene at Left of Plumb – red or white wine for our Oscar party?)

I like that the Golden Globes rolls television and film into one show (how convenient for my schedule), and it gives two Best Picture Awards, one for comedy/musical, and one for drama (awesome since I usually can’t decide on just one).  And it is a bit more casual and relaxed than the Oscars, which—I must admit—can be a bit snobbish and stuffy.

So how about a Golden Globes recap? (And may I just say I had intended to have lovely pics for you visually-motivated people to gaze at throughout this blog, but since I can’t figure out how to copy them legally and give credit where credit is due, I just settled for linking you to photos instead.)


Tina Fey and Amy PoehlerGreat job!  Great opening!  Loved the James Cameron and James Franco jokes!

I always feel a little sorry for the celebs in the audience who get mentioned in opening monologues though.  It’s the only time all night they’re mentally saying, “Don’t pick me! Don’t pick me!”  When they hear their name and the camera pans to them, they always have a smile plastered on their face that kind of says “Oh, no—they said my name—I hope it’s not going to be awful and I hope my face is smiling right now because my mind is going Oh Crap!

Golden Globes Acceptance Speeches:

I am a big fan of acceptance speeches, and I am truly a sucker for genuine, heartfelt shock and emotion.  And I know it’s probably REALLY hard to remember everyone’s names when you’re standing up there, but I hate the list whipped out of the pocket as they say, “What a shock! I never expected this.”

Ben Affleck:  two thumbs-up! (and two standing ovations—which basically said Screw You, Academy!).  My hopeless romantic little heart melted for the handwritten messages from his kids, and his message to Jen that he adored her and she was his everything.  Awww.  And you could literally see the emotion and respect on his face as he acknowledged the massive amount of talent he was nominated with in the Best Director category.

Adele:  genuinely enjoying the evening and the award.  Made me smile and tear up a bit!

(And can I just say I am a Taylor fan, but Ms. Swift needs to work on her “gracious loser” face for when the camera pans during an acceptance speech for the rare time she doesn’t win the award.)

Jennifer Lawrence:  Girl, you are extremely talented and beautiful.  But show some respect.  When you beat out competition like Maggie Smith, Judi Dench, and Meryl Streep, THE GRAND DAMES OF ACTING, you may be thinking in your own head, “I beat Meryl Streep!”, but you don’t get up on the stage and tell the world you’re thinking “I beat Meryl Streep!”  Just saying.

Lena Dunham:   Don’t remind starlets on the verge of aging that you are emerging at half their age.  I nearly choked on my M&Ms when she said Tina Fey, Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Amy Pohler got her through middle school.

(Note the ladies had their “gracious loser” smiles in place when the camera panned, but Tina zinged her from the stage.  Point noted!)

Jodie Foster:  Great dress.  Gorgeous eyes.  Was the hair supposed to be a tadbit uneven???   My forehead is still wrinkled up about the speech.  The media has deemed it brilliant, genuine and moving.

My take was more rambling, weaving, making grand admissions (almost) but then talking about the importance of privacy, then acknowledging the admission, and then retiring (almost) but not retiring, and then WTH?

So maybe I missed something.  I read a transcript of it to double-check, and yes, there were some touching moments, but I still feel for the most part it was just weird.  Maybe I just didn’t get it, but  I wasn’t the only one.  I took Parade Magazine’s survey asking if it was baffling or beautiful, and it was split right down the middle, 50.06% beautiful to 49.94% baffling.

Golden Globes Fashion Hits

Lots of “deep plunge” this year!  And although I personally am not a fan of the neckline that goes from clavicle to navel, I must applaud my fellow modestly-endowed sisters who were not sporting massive crowded cleavage and still took the plunge!

Nicole Kidman and Kate Hudson both wore Alexander McQueen dresses that I loved, and I am publicly announcing that I am willing to wear Alexander’s designs everywhere I go if he wants to donate dresses to me and get free exposure at Target, Publix, and the local Thai restaurant.

If I was 20 pounds lighter (okay, more like 40 pounds lighter), I would make the same offer to Zuhair Muhad, who dressed Jennifer Lopez  at the Globes, and Kristen Stewart at three different premieres in the last few months.  Although it might be a tad bit awkward to walk around Target and Publix in such sheer creations (even 40 pounds lighter).

And is there anyone on the planet that doesn’t agree that Salma Hayek and Sofia Vergara were both smokin’ hot at the Globes?  An entirely different realm of hotness, really.  Beyond smoke.

Golden Globes Fashion Misses

Julie Bowen: Girlfriend needs some meat on the bones.  She does not look healthy.  And the rather large blue table linen draped around her tiny frame just swallowed her.  Please, Julie, please.  You are so pretty and talented.  Let go of Hollywood’s obsession with rail-thin and eat some pasta.

Lucy Liu:  Channeling Scarlett O’Hara and wearing curtains, or trading out fashion that looks nice for a skirt with practical pockets?   ‘Cause then you don’t have to carry a purse.

Other Thoughts on Golden Globes:

Miss Golden Globe:  Francesca Eastwood is gorgeous.

Kelly Osbourne:  I am seriously considering rocking some lavender locks.   Loved it!

New Mommies:  Thanks Adele for having a realistic after-baby body.  Kudos to Claire Danes for getting into that red-hot number a month after baby.  Megan Fox—amazing.  Although I have to think if you were a size zero before the baby, then it’s not too much of a shock that you’re pretty fit and tiny afterwards.

 Did you watch the Golden Globes?  Thoughts?





6 Responses to Golden Globes 2013 Recap

  1. irenebarnett

    You are spot on! I am convinced that Jodi has just spent WAY too much time with Mel. He looked so confused….or just paralyzed with fear since he was in a room surrounded by Jews. And, as much as I think Robert Downey Jr. is ultra-talented, the guy is a big douche and I wouldn’t be able to spend 30 seconds with him without wanting to knee him in the crotch.

    Boy, though, Amy and Tina NAILED IT! They can host anything and I will watch it.

    • The Goddess Howe

      What was up with Mel’s catatonic stare while she was talking? Was he in a trance? Was he receiving signals from the Mothership???
      Let’s invite Amy and Tina to our Oscar after-party!

  2. Lisa Hale

    I love your summary! I missed the show though unfortunately.

    • The Goddess Howe

      Uh-oh! I didn’t do a spoiler alert so I hope I didn’t ruin anything for you!!! Although I guess the title “Golden Globes Recap” kind of screams spoiler alert on its own, hunh?

  3. John

    You’re awesome. i love you so much.

    • The Goddess Howe

      Thanks for watching awards shows with me! And thanks for understanding when I hit pause every time you talk so I don’t miss anything from either you or the person on stage! ;o)

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